Im in love.

Kelly Clarkson sang for the pope yesterday. She is my idol and i am in love with her.



<3<3 i cried when watching this..

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
djm.

"You'll soon be a bag of bones!"

So far my weight loss count is 40 lbs!!!!!!

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
djm.

Stop Crying Your Heart Out

Have you ever heard that one song that just fits the exact way of how you are feeling? I do this game where i put my itunes on shuffle and just listen. So I was sitting in my room today and the song Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis came on and it was saying everything i was thinking.

"Get up (get up)
Come on (come on)
Why're you scared? (I'm not scared)
You'll never change
What's been and gone.."

Its a strange thing when stuff like this happens.. I mean it makes me feel like there is some big power in the universe that is making me see somehitng, and all i need to do is open my eyes.

So i guess to be fair, i should tell you all about why I'm feeling like this. aslkdfje... ok ok ok ok here i go...

So i did it.. I let my heart open and I feel in love. I allowed myself to break down the wall i built so strong because i felt like it was right. My god did i feel it was right. I was finally happy. I could feel. Everything was new, and i felt so refreshed. Holding his hand, kissing his cheek, or just staring into his eyes, everything seemed so perfect... But when things are perfect they have to go sour at some point I suppose.

I got the phone call everyone dreads, but i was not expecting it at all. "I need to focus on me right now and be alone.." was the response I got. It made me feel ok because I knew that everyone needed some time alone just to find themselves, but i was fed a line. Two days later I was given the gift of finding out that he was now in a new relationship.

I know this shouldnt be a big deal, but i cant help but think... was all of this fake? Were the things you said to me a lie? What did i do wrong? How can you have a change in heart so fast?

I know for a fact that the emotions i was told he was feeling arn't something that evaporate over night, so the whole thing turned into a big shady mess that resulted in a broken heart... and back to square one.

I feel like I have a curse. Nothing seems to go right when it comes to relationships with me, and I tell myself, " Drew, there are other fish in the sea." "Drew, you don't need that douchebag." but its so hard to say then to do.

its to hard to talk to him now. I dont want your braclet. I dont want your songs. I dont want your compliments. I dont want you promises. I dont want your sayings. I dont want your fortune cookies. I dont want your heart in my pocket. I dont want you.

I feel i was more in love with the fact of being in love than really loving the person. Did that make sense? God I hope so.

Maybe someday I'll find that person and everything will turn out ok... maybe. God I hope so.

I think to myself a lot if love is real. I mean our society is filled with divorce, vilolence, and hatred so where can the love fit into the mix. But then i look at my mom and dad. They have the most love i have ever seen two people share before in my life, and it really keeps me hanging on.

Someday I'll make it to that point... Someday. Until then, the wall is starting to build up again, and the only ones to climb over are the few people i hold dear to my heart.

"..Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out."

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
djm.

Kiss me :]

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
djm.

Grandma Peg.. <3

So i recently just found out that my Grandma Peg is really sick.. ahhh i hate it when stuff like this happens. If she was to die, my family would fall apart. So as I was looking through my computer i found the essay i wrote on my Grandma Peg and it brought tears to my eyes. Here it is ...

The last leaf falls as I drive up Harrington road. My old Grand Am creeks from every bump I hit, and the trees that were once filled with millions of colors, are now bare and being taken over by the first signs of the winter season. As I start to venture deeper and deeper into the woods, I see a little house with a single stream of smoke coming from the chimney. I drive closer and closer and see a little old lady cooking in the window. As I pull into her drive way the smell of fresh apple pies fill my nose. I smile and think to myself, “Grandma Peg.”

If Greene ever had a celebrity, Grandma Peg would be it. Everyone knows her for her cooking, her farm, and her warm welcoming heart to anyone she meets. She is always helping at charity events, cooking amazing pies that make you mouth water just by the smell, and whistling some Frank Sinatra tune. Grandma Peg can be dressed in her finest Sunday clothing for church one moment and then applying war paint as she prepares for a paint ball war with my brothers the next. She is always on the sidelines watching soccer games, or in the audience applauding me at the final curtain of the school play.

Grandma Peg is the first person to help you when there is a problem. She is always there handing you the first tissue after you spill your hopes and dreams, and the first person to sneak you a homemade cookie still warm from the oven. Her hands are rough from her long days working on her farm or at The Corner Restaurant where she greeted everyone as if they were part of her own family.

Grandma Peg to me is the pure definition of love. She never once has been selfish or rude, and is always willing to give a hug to anyone in need. When things get rough and I find myself backed up against a wall, I can always count on Grandma Peg to be right behind me helping me up.

Last year I received the lead role in the Footlights production of Oliver. My dream had finally come true; I was the star of the show. I was ecstatic and probably ran all the way home that day with the biggest smile on my face. However, my high was soon simmered when I found out that both sets of my grandparents were going to be in Florida when Oliver was being performed. I felt like I was driving full speed and then hit a tree with no air bag to soften the blow. I was pissed. I called my Grandma Kay and PopPop begging them to stay for the show. After a tearful plea, they told me to “suck it up” and that it was “just a play, nothing that important anyway (they did come home last year though, for my Cousin Matt’s senior play).” I was backed up against the wall and felt myself getting more and more depressed. However, to my rescues was Grandma Peg. “Drewby, I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” she said with that sparkle in her eye. And sure thing, on opening night when the curtains were pulled back and I was standing in the center of the stage, there sat Grandma Peg, front row; with that same loving smile that can make the meanest man alive melt.

I feel that God sends angles down to earth to help you grow up, learn, and guide you through life. Grandma Peg is truly one of those angles. There is no word in any dictionary that can do justice to the love I have for Grandma Peg. She has changed my life in so many ways and has opened my eyes so wide, that it is impossible to ever shut them. She’s told me stories of the world and encouraged me to dream big and never get discouraged. Grandma Peg is not just my grandma but my friend, my role model, and my hero.

“Drewby! I was just thinking about you,” she says as she slips the first fresh cookie into my hand. Wearing her maroon sweater and smiling from ear to ear. “I love you Grandma,” I reply.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
djm.