one, two, three, BAHHHHHHH!

Falling asleep is overrated. It seems no matter how hard I try, nothing ever works. I count sheep and get pissed off, I sing a song in hope I doze off but then find it more annoying than helpful, and I try to watch TV but soon get a headache from the bright lights. Maybe it's the 2 hour nap I had today, or the 34759837291 different things running through my mind. I don't know how many times I have tried and tried to escape my life through sleep, but just found it an impossible task.

Here's a preview to what's up in my noggin. I'm afraid. Yes that was very vague and probably unfair on all sorts of levels, but it's true. I'm afraid of life, I'm afraid of school, and most importantly I'm afraid of love.

There is nothing scarier than opening yourself up to someone in hopes they do the same in return. I've had bad experiences with dating, relationships, friends ect.. and it has left me with the battle wounds to prove it. Countless times I would pour heart out on the table thinking the person on the other end actually cared, and sadly found out that I was nothing but an annoying fly disrupting the room.

Depression has always been like my sidekick. No matter what I do or where I go it always follows me, and let me tell you...it's quite the bitch. Fine one second, then KAAAAZAHMMMM I want nothing more than to curl up in a ball and cry. Maybe it's my age, maybe its society, but one thing is certain, it's become part of me.

When I finally let someone in I hold nothing back. My best friend Leah knows exactly what I am talking about. I may look like I have it all under control on the outside, but when you dig under my skin and find my heart; you see it's a big ol' mess.

What's the cure? If it's a drug, give me the prescription. If it's a place, book me the first flight there. If it's a certain person, please please pleeeeeeease send them my way. I have nothing to lose and so much to gain.

My darling LAK has helped me realize that I am truly not alone. Being a freshman I learned the hard way that someone may seem your best friend one day, and your worst enemy the next (I still haven’t forgiven you..). Sure you find people that are good to joke with, and people that are good to party with, but LAK hasn't only related to me on a mental level but a spiritual level as well. She knows the right songs to help me through, and the corny jokes that always make me chuckle. Could she be my saving grace that I have been praying for at this school? Only time will tell, but I feel she's the real deal.

So back to the uncomfortable bed with the loud heater. Back to the student. Back to the friend. Back to the hiding.

This blog is really wonderful you know that. It allows me to escape and feel that maybe out there someone is reading everything I am writing right now, and truly cares. Hi! <--Thought I would be polite and greet you personally :]

Something tells me it's ok to sleep now..

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
djm.

Overature/Prologue

So here's the deal kids--

The name is Drew and my life is pretty much the biggest drama fest filled with laughs, tears, and random trips here and there. I'm at college right now and i hate it. I try and I try everyday to look at things in a positive matter, but after a homosexual Latino man dressed in skin tight size 14 girl pants, starts snapping, clapping, and vogueing in your face, it gets hard to hold on to the light.

I spend most of my days writing and listing to music that captures my whole body and soul. Now don't think I'm emo or anything.. i mean honestly that shit is over rated, and to be honest, i don't look to cute in black.

I'm gay... SURPRISE! haha or not.. really it's not that hard to figure out. If you ever meet someone who doesn't wear sweat pants to class, does their hair everyday, matches their clothing, and actually complements a woman's outfit not because they want to bang the shit out of her, well chances are they're gay.

I always enjoy the age old question "HOW LONG HAVE YOU KNOWN?!" Honestly though, I've always been gay since i can remember. The Little Mermaid was my bible, not because Ariel looked fierce in her bikini but rather I wished I could be her. You can imagine the entertainment I gave the babysitters. :]

Show tunes are my secret pleasure and chances are if you catch me listening to my ipod, some musical will be blasting my ear drums.

I want to do something big for this world, and I have a gut feeling that I will. Through writing, singing, acting, or even a simple smile, I know my name will be one to remember.

Anywho-- This is my new drug, so don't be a stranger and allow me to pull back the curtains to my life :]


That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
djm.